youngvulgarian a very good afternoon from me and this shower/toilet arrangement, which I believe is the bleakest I have experienced in my five years of party conferences pic.twitter.com/Mh5XwbCLBm
@chubbybannister <sleaze accent=”mockney”>What do *you* fink, darlin’?</sleaze>
seldo Did you know that for 200 years we’ve known that spiders can fly but haven’t really understood how they did that and we finally worked it out and the answer is “they ride the earth’s magnetic fields at will”??? Nature is fucking awesome. theatlantic.com/science/archiv…
@invalidname Usually happens just after those “all staff” company briefings. Typically the will to live returns within a day or two.
Can’t work out if that was distant thunder or someone rolling a heavy suitcase down my road.
@primevideouk Hey, your Monk season eight episode 13 (billed as Mr Monk and the Best Man) is actually episode 14 (Mr Monk and the Badge). Ep 14 is in there twice! Mr Monk would not approve 😀
RellyAB YOU CAN DO THAT?
Fuck, this changes everything twitter.com/PageSix/status…
@chubbybannister Sigh. The nice local Building Society we use has decided to consolidate all its Bristol branches there. 😢
Peculiar Best-ever snow globe, bought in Castle Dracula (Bran Castle) in Transylvania. pic.twitter.com/c5dvout8Y6
@The_CallUp @Hadrians_Gate Watched it for the first time recently. That Rooney part really is the kazoo solo in an otherwise beautiful symphony.
AstroKatie Right now, in the center of the Sun, there’s a nuclear reaction converting hydrogen to helium, producing neutrinos, photons, & positrons. A neutrino from this reaction will pass through you just over eight minutes from now. The photons won’t arrive for at least 100,000 years.
@tomkatsumi “Computing. This time it’s PERSONAL.”
@boagworld CUT TO: An error message telling you your UK phone number is in an invalid format.
@tomkatsumi GIF: The AI’s raincoat falls open, revealing two Clippys, one standing on the other’s shoulders.
@meemalee Hell yeah. The giant Twiglet was my favourite.
dangusset Hipster pizza places:
1. You do not need to say you use Fior Di Latte, just saying mozzarella is fine.
2. You do not need to feed your menu through a dirty photocopier 20 times before scanning it to stick an image of it online.
@dangusset “And for the finishing touch, we asked local mechanic Jupiter Peabody to restore an Italian-made 1950s Ditto machine to add an authentic feel to our website…”
@_pigeons_ You should be so lucky. My guess is they’ll skip the wine bar and jump straight to “hipster beard salon and oxygen boutique.”
ME: I’d quite like brighter bulbs.
PHILIPS HUE: Strip lights!
ME: Brighter light bulbs?
HUE: £500 ceiling light!
ME: Brighter bulbs?
HUE: Outdoor pedestal light!
ME: Brighter bul—
HUE: Smart plug!
ME: Bright—
HUE: BLUETOOTH!
MattFnWallace Your cyberpunk name is basically just your name because I mean look around at this shit
@Dru_Marland @panistroglodyte I spotted that on the East Bristol Brewery Trail a couple of years back :) pic.twitter.com/0HQLZEFgs0
cybergibbons The BBC asked us to look into a range of IoT products.
One of them was a Pineworld lock, from Amazon.
We only had a day; I went for the quickest and most realistic attack. pic.twitter.com/QUKFQUyChO
BonniePuns Hahaaaaa who did this pic.twitter.com/L0m4euJVc4
EwaSR Lady Hale looks like the kind of sweet old lady who’d make you tea and offer you a biscuit and then sits down to tell you about all her assassination missions she did for the resistance during the war in occupied France
@UPSHelp Hey, did you know your My Choice sign up process is failing at the first hurdle? pic.twitter.com/mWVmUFTVZk
Having gone down a rabbit-hole from a Siouxsie & the Banshees cover version, I am now catching up with Jefferson Airplane. #downwiththekids youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr…
Sailboat. pic.twitter.com/A3F8Z9wNIo
Barry Dragon. pic.twitter.com/pIGBXbo8bv
Viaduct. pic.twitter.com/5uqk1zTa4s
Little boxes. pic.twitter.com/MIMrAFqwrr
Rhoose. pic.twitter.com/kkxru2n3UN
HugdiSpencer How it feels to browse websites in 2019… pic.twitter.com/LeBN2K26RA
TwoSetViolin Pachelbel’s Canon in C(hicken) pic.twitter.com/YlPczVYLQQ
apowerfulbird octopus: [gun in each hand]
cat: you’re one short buddy
@MakingBlakes7 That was a goodie. I remember Games/Sand the best, and I do like those two as a combo.
I wonder how many people follow this one, even if they know it… twitter.com/HighwayCodeGB/…
@dangusset Saving myself £100 on a new subwoofer by replacing the blown transistors myself. Really shouldn’t have played the Nephilim so loud! 😅
Domestic scenes. pic.twitter.com/jAiKLKEQdG
@AnchoriteAirmed @ScootchCat @holly It’s not often I look at an account and think, “no, that *must* be a human, because Markov chain generator bots have much better communication skills.”
anitathetweeter Lenny Henry just introduced himself at this media conference with: “Hello, I’m Justin Trudeau” pic.twitter.com/09zwQiRHDz
Damn! Updating to Safari 13.0 has made the spacebar stop moving to the next article along in Fever. Maybe it’s time to complete my long circle back to @NetNewsWire :D
@unamccormack Giving it a decade or two, personally.
@Dru_Marland Over here in a more urban setting, the local jackdaws are making such a fuss around the chimney of the school opposite that I think it’s possible that one of them just fell into it and the rest are all now pointing and laughing.
drewscanlon Hi Internet! I’m Drew and THIS IS MY FACE.
If this GIF has ever brought you joy in the past, I humbly ask you to consider making a donation to the National MS Society. It would mean a lot to me and to those I know affected by the disease!
Donate at BikingWhiteGuy.com pic.twitter.com/VaFbgOKrV2
Plus, of course, they’re fifty quid a pack, and thus the market is so flooded with cheap fakes that it’s tough to buy them from Amazon with any confidence.
Buying a toothbrush in 1999: Hard or soft bristles? Buying a toothbrush in 2019: Sigh. pic.twitter.com/Q6HE5SxrRb
@Argos_Online Since your site came back up, it’s been impossible to reach as just “argos.co.uk“—needs argos.co.ukh” with the “www”. Used to work fine as either…
Your quest is to transfer an application from one Google Play account to another. You are in a maze of twisty console pages, all looking alike.
You have been eaten by a grue.
Hello, Peter! 🐰#changechecker pic.twitter.com/Xh5xlmlDBF
@mippy There’s a clear dividing line between people who have established an identity and personality—with a real name or not—and people who joined Twitter last week with the name TRUMPBREXITAN9293748 who do nothing but retweet and hate-reply. “Anonymous” is a scattergun epithet 🙁
Madeley Christ, no-one tell the DWP. twitter.com/Newsweek/statu…
@ahnlak Almost a perfect example of the left hand not knowing what the right hand’s doing…
@shezza_t Especially once the renovations on the place as a whole are over and I don’t have a bunch of scaffolding darkening my courtyard!
@ahnlak They’re the right way around for me?
Before and after. Quite a satisfying bit of weekend work. pic.twitter.com/d6K6eKLGgf
allenholub Public service announcement:
Dear programmers,
NOT LETTING ME CUT/PASTE A PASSWORD MAKES MY ACCOUNT *****LESS***** SECURE. There is a circle of hell reserved for you if you don’t allow paste into a password field.
Regards,
Your Customers
MarkDiStef We’ve spoken to a lot of people who spread panic with the “grab bags” tweets. The story is 2,000 words.
Here’s what we found:
buzzfeed.com/markdistefano/… pic.twitter.com/XO70kTzQ0C
beardedjourno Hi @BristolLibDems. I don’t mind you printing my photo on this flyer, but I do mind that you didn’t ask permission. Shall we agree that you donate £150 to a Bristol homeless charity instead of me sending you an invoice for unauthorised usage? pic.twitter.com/QZOaWS4DiX
@Kevin_Maguire @IanMartin @JBeattieMirror SPOILERS, damn it!
@psidnell Because it’s the biggest workspace I’ve got!
@Seej500 Plan: we ask DPD to deliver Brexit.
CalumSSherwood I absolutely stan this woman from Sunderland interviewed in 1980 for a local news segment about gay people. An ally! 🏳️🌈 pic.twitter.com/UcMDaAWtqF
*Mops brow* Okay, 6-foot wide fence panel is now a 4-foot wide fence panel. Not a terrible job for a first time… pic.twitter.com/PybonVrnAu
Well, this is going to be interesting… pic.twitter.com/KSmBUQTcHC
Laying out my lounge for woodworking makes me feel a little like Dexter. But my lounge is four times the size of my garden, so it makes more sense to resize fence panels indoors… pic.twitter.com/g2iegluyDK
ElijahBarnsUK Mornin’ 🦇 pic.twitter.com/fRQdrCF5i7
MakingBlakes7 The Liberator.
#Blakes7 pic.twitter.com/5GzeJq623t
@Cookwitch I’m guessing the junction came first.
quellist1 Narrator: Sadly, Piers Morgan did not actually explode. twitter.com/Independent/st…
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@atpfm If we do get colours, do you trust Apple to make them so they don’t flake off? I’m unimpressed with my first non-Space Gray iPhone… #askatp pic.twitter.com/55N1jR5ouK
As I approach 47, I wonder whether the reason old people’s minds are hard to change is because they just can’t be arsed to read youngsters’ political arguments, which these days consist entirely of third-generation JPEG copies of pictures of text in a small font.
@chubbybannister @basil_gg I would never have got that answer, even with the right numbering…
galacticdad oh god oh fuck pic.twitter.com/527UOFaCcu
RealDMitchell “On second thoughts, let’s not call it Kodak.” twitter.com/robnitm/status…
@Bristolvor @chubbybannister (though it did leave me with an earworm :D) youtube.com/watch?v=Po5BsM…
@Bristolvor @chubbybannister Likewise!
Pinboard Riot police waiting for walk signal is peak Hong Kong pic.twitter.com/hQ6vlttWL1
PulpLibrarian John Bulmer was a pioneer of British colour photojournalism, and documented the changing face of the North of England in the ’60s and ’70s.
Let’s take a look at some of his work… #FridayFeeling pic.twitter.com/5Ks7E7nzEA
@jlandpcustserv Nope. Called to ask where he was twice, twice got told they’d call him up and ask him to ring me. Nothing. And this was the first appointment available when I called up on 13th August!
Still waiting in for my “morning” visit from a @jlandpcustserv Added Care washing machine engineer…
Remember those heady days when you could reliably drag and drop pictures on a Mac?
Either the guy painting our windows starts very early, or a giant lark has killed him and is wearing his skin. Got to say, at twenty past seven I was rather hoping for the latter…
ICHIcreator I made a musical installation called TOBOGAN GAKKI at end of the road festival. It’s inspired by a children’s toy from Czech Republic and made from things I found in skips or washed up on the coast, and bits of recycled toys pic.twitter.com/JzzPQ5eR9i
@WorksWithWords Well, I imagine that being forced to study it in school could put you off it for life, so…
@tweethue Are the Hue servers having problems? Can’t even get the iOS Hue app open past the splash screen at the moment.
mrchrisaddison Xenophobe’s Paradox. twitter.com/RemainiacsCast…
@jfjdavey @Dru_Marland One of the few redeeming features of working in Swindon was a local cafe who did a knockout brie & mango chutney w/ black pepper baguette. *mouth waters*
