@rankamateur @Kavey It’s surprisingly easy to get away from it all. I’ve only been twice, but my abiding memories are entirely non-agoraphobic, and I’m really not one for crowds.
@ratsass @WeirdBristol Looks like it was 17 minutes by train; maybe they knew they could put some extra coal on for a VIP :) Side note: “will someone have put the 1942 timetable online?” I thought. “Yes, of course they will have.” michaelclemensrailways.co.uk/download.ashx?…
@rankamateur @Kavey When someone enormous is on at the main stage, there’s even more space at the little ones. If you need a breather there’s always the comedy or acoustic tents for chilling 😀 #glastoforintroverts
@ahnlak Yes. Yes, you are.
Anyway. Where was I? Oh, yes, cleaning the kitchen and listening to The Archers.
I should probably also add that I had at the point of the original video tried several less close-contact methods of extraction, but they all ended up with fledgey either hiding worriedly under furniture or calmly setting up shop in my wardrobe.
They do seem to be happy fledging in the courtyard. I’ve now left fledgling and parent to get on with it; mum’s wandering around outside with a ginormous berry in her mouth, and I’m sure everything will be fine now if I give them some privacy.
Five years ago, a family of blackbirds nested in my ivy, and I think they’ve been coming back and nesting nearby ever since, though I tried to discourage them from nesting right in my courtyard as it’s not big enough for us both! youtube.com/watch?v=cPZeex…
Cutie, n’est-ce pas? pic.twitter.com/Hyt0E70oK1
I walked out into my back yard this morning and a fledgeling blackbird(?) panicked and flew into my bedroom. It took a while, but finally we saw eye-to-eye on our mutual living arrangements. pic.twitter.com/eo9QxNfdmO
Bugger! Haven’t listened to The Archers for two weeks and it seems like something interesting actually happened! *Scratches around in podcast archive*
baph0meat that…. adhd (????) feel pic.twitter.com/FPvb9SGpZZ
@ovationchris I have long considered Curry’s a false economy. John Lewis far better at delivery, and worth extra cash.
ADawsonBros Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me. All three said “no”.
@sp_mellor @KingMobUK @thalestral @LesTricoteuses As a fellow fat guy whose parents moved to Crete, I’d say give travel a try. I’ve been far less comfortable at 23C in the UK than 33C in southern Europe. Plus everyone’s expecting you to wear shorts and a beach shirt and there’s AC everywhere 😅
@seb_ly You have entered a Buffalo Stance. Windows must restart for this change to take effect.
seb_ly Neneh Cherry’s visuals at Glastonbury crashed and rebooted revealing Windows XP and I can’t decide if that’s terrible or the most retro cool thing ever pic.twitter.com/oCKi2ZyC2i
@floyduk @markoftheD @resophonick @TheStephenRalph Weirdo.
Trying to recall the word for the deep sense of joy and self-acceptance you feel when you realise that you only ever make iced coffee in your NutriBullet and that really, that’s okay… pic.twitter.com/WixCvFO01x
And in today’s photography tip, I’ll show you how focusing on the right design features in your home can increase the sale value of your basement flat. pic.twitter.com/inBIDtTDND
@JannerTM @resophonick Amen.
@dangusset I’ve lived here since 1999 and have evolved three completely new calf muscles in that time.
Own up, Bristolian physicists. Who increased local g around my sofa? Hmm?
@TravisinaB7 @CuriousUkTelly Saddest moment of the entire run, that.
@RellyAB That was the day I learned that everyone else already knew how to pronounce “Southwark”.
RellyAB [Me on my deathbed, fading away]
My brain: ah it is time to look over the life you have lived and all your accomplishments
My brain: remember when you said that really stupid thing in English class when you were 12?
@UrsulaWJ See also: same job ad, so you don’t apply, and later find out it’s been taken by someone you know to be an under-qualified idiot liar.
CuriousUkTelly Pink Floyd play the Knightmare theme tune at Earls Court in ’94 pic.twitter.com/9rnbNxmnIl
fangirltherapy People about their friends: we met on a kickball team in college
Me about my friends: we were both highly invested in two fictional characters making out seven years ago
So. Tonight’s Any Questions is coming to you from the church at the end of my road. (Also our mayor’s church, perhaps not coincidentally…)
BBCPolitics After 32 years, @dimbleby_jd is presenting his last Any Questions? tonight from Bristol, 8pm @BBCRadio4
His guests are Lord Blunkett, Lord Patten, Amanda Platell and @pollytoynbee: bbc.in/2IWMNWz
Share your Any Questions? memories ⬇️ #bbcaq pic.twitter.com/NVKHzVHzO0
brian_lovin I think today might be the perfect time for my startup, Facebook, to join an accelerator 🚀 pic.twitter.com/x6lC6hBeFT
Won’t be doing that again. Not unless Hotwells Pine’s replacement turns out to be an air conditioner sales franchise.
Castaneda. pic.twitter.com/bpUrhkNbW5
Just popped outside. pic.twitter.com/Q3bAHLRizT
@marinaepelman @siracusa Let me guess: they have no arm or head holes, but they’re *really* thin?
bitchitshan one of our team members handed in their notice like this 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/tqc9Hn6ODE
@hayles I feel lucky not have been carried off by the bastards myself after a weekend on Newcastle quayside.
AllusionistShow New episode is out! And it’s one that could have been ten episodes; there’s an awful lot in it that warrants further contemplation. But it’s already very late, so here you go: theallusionist.org/bisexual @MarkJoseph_82 talks about the many meanings of the word ‘bisexual’.
rstevens Tonight’s comic is about making friends.
dieselsweeties.com/ics/829/ pic.twitter.com/Ld39EETt4g
RogerQuimbly Pretty pleased with my first week as PR chief for Boris Johnson.
jaredpalmer Modern web development pic.twitter.com/p84IVkC2aQ
AnnaGHughes It’s only physics if it’s from the Physique region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling math
cnqmdi who is the oasis bakery spices copywriter i just want to talk pic.twitter.com/QxEvxkKAg1
WeirdBristol This tree beside the @TheHatchet1606 was planted in 1973 and was the first in #Bristol to be grown as part of a nationwide initiative called “Plant a Tree in ’73” to replace trees which had died from Dutch elm disease. The plan led to 160,000 trees being planted across the UK. pic.twitter.com/3ONJceDB76
Nostalgic_Thing It’s the 154th anniversary of the 1st Class debut of WG Grace who went on to open a cereal cafe in Shoreditch pic.twitter.com/F76F3EBHvr
lastcoolname I might have gone too far. pic.twitter.com/M00hyHWDUl
@BradyHaran I go to just the winter solstices specifically because I’m a slugabed. You only have to leave Bristol a bit before 7am 😂
Hashtag tweetsatthestartofdisastermovies twitter.com/nwskansascity/…
melissacroce i jokingly told my coworkers i would make a brochure to hand out to relatives/family friends at my cousin’s wedding but i was too committed to the bit to quit: pic.twitter.com/CcBVe4V47N
@shezza_t Thanks!
Sotherans So next week two of us are going to have to break into a cellar that we didn’t know we were renting to rescue books we didn’t know we had and I wish I could say this was the first time this kind of thing had happened in this bookstore over the years
paul_haine One of my favourite things about Twitter is when the inventor of Godwin’s Law turns up in conversations with a gentle “you know nothing of my work” slap-down pic.twitter.com/9E7rDeJNVd
OnePerfectShot While we were all busy worrying about Game of Thrones, Phoebe Waller-Bridge was doing something brilliant and vital. ops.fyi/Fleabag
@gitrithm @Noahpinion Are you more scared by a high number or a low number?
@Noahpinion Are we counting Russian bots pretending to be Americans?
@garethlpowell @ClaireAllan This Essex Lad can confirm it’s a familiar saying.
@CallumMcSorley @garethlpowell “And now… chapter *two*!” pic.twitter.com/EfdIioc5HT
@ianoxley As a JavaScript beginner, I often found myself wondering ‘what the shit *is* “this”’?
charlesarthur Tfw you realise that the Americans who designed Facebook’s cryptocurrency live in a world where contactless payments basically aren’t a thing pic.twitter.com/pmTtyRGYYn
@CharlieVivante By the police and by his own zipper, let’s hope.
@NzeluOkechukwu China In Your Hand? (If you didn’t know it was about Frankenstein, have another listen 😀)
@BWJones @TomFoxPhoto Presumably the “logical” conclusion here is that all journalists should be armed. I wonder how well that suggestion would go down in certain quarters…
BWJones My 1st thought was this was a police officer who looked scared. Then I looked at how sloppy everything was about this guy from shoelaces to rifle sling and what was up with the 101st Airborne eagle? Then it clicked. @TomFoxPhoto captured the gunman *before* the shooting. Whoa…
JontyBloombiz Do you need an extra apostrophe in “Sotheby’s shares”, if so where? Asking for a friend
@LHGBrewingco @CafeMatariki @spicerandcole Must’ve been confused by coming over the new bridge! We’ll look harder next time!
@indiaknight We need this to be the Next Big Thing, so Americans start getting their teeth fucked up deliberately to be cool. I’m off to sign up for a course in unorthodontistry.
@thislast I would have done, but I couldn’t get through the net of death-stares being directed at them by people who were even closer. I think the miscreants are probably buried somewhere under the History section now.
PrivateEyeNews Satire has actual effect shock:
(L) Private Eye cover, 31 May
(R) The Times, 15 June pic.twitter.com/NsNC0oznrW
Hum. Just tried to go to Finzel’s Reach for lunch. Did I miss a turning or is there nothing there any more, not even the cafe I went to last time? Although I see @LHGBrewingco are opening up there—hurrah!
When did the study area in the library become the perfect place for people to take phone calls really loudly? Are these the people that can’t afford to commute in the Quiet Carriage any more?
BristolLibForum #Bristol #CentralLibrary opening hours change from today
However, @BristolLibrary needs to share the love with their branch #Libraries pic.twitter.com/RdBZ9B1TQ9
TheDweck Stop buying coffee and accept a lower price twitter.com/wsj/status/114…
Oh yeah. pic.twitter.com/4bB8Na09lV
See also: trying to look up anything medical on the web. twitter.com/tdhopper/statu…
tdhopper Edgar Allan Poe (1836): “The enormous multiplication of books in every branch of knowledge is one of the greatest evils of this age.
senatorjohn “Genius made a subtle change[…], alternating the lyrics’ apostrophes between straight and curly single-quote marks in exactly the same sequence for every song.
When the two types of apostrophes were converted to […] Morse code, they spelled out the words “Red Handed.” twitter.com/myurow/status/…
Tweet_Dec No but tell us how you really feel The Guardian 🤣 pic.twitter.com/nNKiLEXk9i
qikipedia Nearly 20,000 inhabitants of a Turkish province called ‘Batman’ have signed a petition to re-shape the province’s borders into the shape of the Bat-Signal.
pageantmalarkey My dad had a new radiator fitted, then realised you could no longer open the drawer. So he remade the drawer like this to correct his mistake. This sort of thing explains a lot of my upbringing. pic.twitter.com/rDQXMA7aaX
@porridgebrain @fakebaldur Attn. @_pigeons_
The Lady Di version of Candle in the Wind. twitter.com/bushontheradio…
@Bristolvor I didn’t know they made Crème de Menthe Slush Puppies.
“Things to do in Bristol” pic.twitter.com/q4EQMwBrQ0
JaimeBanister Life is short, remember to stop and smell the flowers every chance you get pic.twitter.com/GhMlqAauev
GQ Ran a Photo of ‘Tech Titans’ That Had Women Photoshopped In petapixel.com/2019/06/13/gq-…
robotnik Consented to near-constant surveillance by multinational megacorps in exchange for convenience and news about my friends? twitter.com/sevensixfive/s…
bercut2000 It is sometime useful to have a senior developers in the team.. pic.twitter.com/ijAq5xly5a
Unwise_Trousers When you just want to clutch your head in a field in peace, and people keep slapping you on book covers: pic.twitter.com/bOzyPxbV2h
@Dru_Marland You should try. As everyone who wears a beret knows, we’re all going to dye.
@rem Make the window wider? They’re only at the bottom when there’s not enough room for them in the sidebar.
Lucyvfreeman More cheerful tweet today. Saw Lab in river, appearing to struggle. Whining etc. Mention to owner. “He’s always doing this. Bloody drama queen. Joe! Put your feet down!” Labrador looks sheepish, and STANDS UP IN WATER WHICH COMES UP TO KNEES
WeirdBristol This chain, which hangs at the waterline around most of the harbour is called the “life chain”. It provides something to hold onto if people fall in the water until rescue comes. I believe this is not just an interesting fact but something everyone in #Bristol should be aware of! pic.twitter.com/xbkF2ebFOM
Um. Say, @cstross, do you ever rent your place out? twitter.com/ashleyfryer/st…
nlyonne II @RussianDoll 🦇🦇🦇🦇 pic.twitter.com/eFrr3g0Vyj
xkcdComic An Apple a Day xkcd.com/2161/ m.xkcd.com/2161/ pic.twitter.com/qWUfs1dDZT
@MarkTaylorFood Well, I have just turned the heating back on…
@PeteWilliams Hah! I grabbed a coffee and a croissant from the hole-in-the-wall place by the entrance. *waves belatedly*
Today’s picks. 2/2 pic.twitter.com/sbfKtaOlZY
Today’s picks. 1/2 pic.twitter.com/bR4Gxq4xLt
@dangusset Ilford County High.
This is where I got edumacated. pic.twitter.com/ihB68jpCnl
Either I’ve had too many beers or the Everyman crossword is v. hard this week.
Gants ‘ill rahndabaht. pic.twitter.com/YNuHqxpkLy
FriendlyAssh0le I’m this old 😂 pic.twitter.com/A9t6iW7Ngz
Riana_Crypto ah yes, the two genders pic.twitter.com/f0DIn9MlmA
@clairnotclaire Yeah. I’m enjoying the extra luxuries of a sunroof and an auto gearbox for Bristol’s traffic-bestrewn hills!
@clairnotclaire Mine’s comfortingly familiar—same model, just 12 years newer!—and it’s nice to have virtually everything be just a little bit better 😀
@aedison Not going to lie; I nervously checked behind me when I read that.
aedison British society is crumbling because of the lingering national existential psychic trauma of the period in the 90s when it seemed like anyone could, at any time, be Tango’d.
NikatinePrime What a great corporation. You know they’re taking about sending colonists to LV-426?? About time! Can’t wait to see what Weyland-Yutani does next! Happy #PRIDE!! pic.twitter.com/5jxJ8sOlnl
hughpearman To those of us who obsessively flatten out and fold the foil wrappers of choccie biscuits, sculptor David Mach is now our God. Here’s his ‘Easy Tiger’ in the RA Summer Show. Tunnock’s wrappers used like silver leaf pic.twitter.com/ixg0EIwt99
@SiDawson Sounds like what I see. I wonder if I can be bothered to try figuring out if it’s my fault or Twitter’s…
And finally, the first year rolls around and I get one of the tiny “buying a much newer car” windfalls. My old car would have been £200 to tax. New car: £20.
Does anyone else see this page far more often than they’d expect? #ifyourenotredirectedsoon pic.twitter.com/PFuZqGa7P9
Ceilidhann Okay @Jezebel, you wanna do this? Let’s do this.
twitter.com/Jezebel/status…
@daycoder Ta! Yes, says it’s still available for 2 months.
WilliamShatner You do realize that there are only scale models of the Enterprise??? twitter.com/bob_t_34655/st…
There is no truth to the rumour that my grandad was Arthur Daley’s stunt double in _Minder_. pic.twitter.com/PRbuI3RT6u
@Dru_Marland Just bumped into you in the library! pic.twitter.com/Og5SJZ9Sqg
Oh, okay, so it’s DropBox that’s dead. And there was me swearing at 1Password..@DropboxSupportrt
Yeah, I’ll get right on that. pic.twitter.com/MdPNotZmzG
reverentgeek Fun for the whole team! pic.twitter.com/6f7rXTaJti
@bexxi Pessimist. But thanks, yes, that was more of a subtweet at Muse, who’re playing about a mile away.
Oh, do hush up.
@meemalee I think the family might have another cookbook coming.
@marcpalmerdev @caseyliss I don’t want to know what happens if you *do* rub the bottle.
An hour after I decide that having a caffeinated coffee in the afternoon won’t hurt. pic.twitter.com/eKhc17DgJK
Apparently I am a serial killer. twitter.com/oliagavrysh/st…
I love the way that some birds’ names give you real clues as to what they’re going to look like. The Resplendent Quetzal is definitely in that category. hbw.com/ibc/species/55… pic.twitter.com/RdsliL54xl
(Which, I confess, I’d actually forgotten I’d ever created until I saw its apache config.)
In “to-do” list news this week, I’ve managed to enable https on all my sites, including my incredibly advanced programmers’ “rubber ducking” tool brianthedebugger.gothick.org.uk.
Oooh. Happy season 2 just dropped on @NetflixUK! pic.twitter.com/eHo00SwzH6
ChrisPJGodfrey Is it all of them? twitter.com/independent/st…
@CastIrony “Also, this home does not appear to be built into a fake volcano, and you lack a fluffy white cat.”
This chart could come in handy. #wwdc19 twitter.com/psidnell/statu…
@psidnell So, I wasn’t far off, then.
Oh, well done, Bristol. #hotwells pic.twitter.com/ymN9YsKfUM
@hayles @basil_gg So, I think if I did go for the Mac Pro plus display, that would be the most money I’d ever spent on something that wasn’t a house. My elderly iMac is looking nicer and nicer 😂
@siracusa I think someone needs to try turning John off and on again.
@siracusa Was that, by any chance, about 20% more than the upper limit you had in mind? #applepricingalgorithm
@hayles I couldn’t even afford the last Mac Pro.
Just get to the price, damn it. #wwdc19 pic.twitter.com/7S0Cb6j1Kd
@jamesthomson @siegel Yah. Damn it.
I fear this is going to be the best Mac Pro that @siracusa won’t be able to justify the expense of. #WWDC19
“We turned the cheesegrater up to eleven…” #WWDC19
@siracusa I was just amazed it wasn’t already there! Very handy on the Echo…
Up and safe. bbc.com/news/entertain…
@MissFlyByNight Apparently the pen *is* mightier than the sword. pic.twitter.com/gSZGXxvbVo
MissFlyByNight You just died…. the last photo in your gallery killed you. What or who is the culprit?
@dktom PS: Is that at Redbridge roundabout? I grew up about a mile from there!
Shouldn’t there be a hold-up at immigration while our security services check through his social media feed?
@dktom And that’s just the sub-convoy carrying his ego.
wyvernandstar The dollshouses of Marc Giai-Miniet
Meticulous, sinister pic.twitter.com/uExnX3D8mi
timmaughan the adoption of the athlesiure vest as the de facto ‘midtown uniform’ corporate wear has its origins in dystopian science fiction, in this ted talk I will pic.twitter.com/coo179kjl9
@Dru_Marland @UrsulaWJ Cripes! What’s it for, boosting smaller dragonflies into orbit?
