@xabl Maybe *he* can end up as the secret ingredient in the black pudding.
@waiyeehong You’ve actually made it look pretty attractive, though. And vegetables, too! (Straight from can with oven chips more normal…)
@souptuesday @VickiJNurse @waiyeehong WHAT IS THIS HERESY
@waiyeehong I believe that was part of my original advice.
@hayles @waiyeehong I cannot be blamed for this. Pie in a can is a purely personal lifestyle choice.
@waiyeehong @spattzzz I don’t think I’ve tried the chicken…
@hayles @waiyeehong Hurrah! #pieinacan
hayles I’m so excited for @waiyeehong’s livetweeting of eating a Fray Bentos pie. Craymart has never had a pie in a can.
@drwave Will they have to have a virtual obligatory tall guy who comes and stands in front of you as soon as the band comes on?
Dear marketers sending me “last chance!” emails: could you please *stop* after the last chance?
Fucksake. pic.twitter.com/AlpXFRrXyB
I can’t think of and ending for Rob grisly enough to justify the length of this build-up. #thearchers
@svelde @aahoogendoorn Very disconcerting. “Hey, how should we make the update process sound?” “How about channelling HAL?” “Sounds good.”
Hrm. Well, looking at the weather, it’s a good day for staying indoors and DIY-ing. #notaeuphemism
Massively enjoying the first episode of the @DownAndSafe Blake’s 7 podcast :) downandsafe.wordpress.com
@davidpatrick @downcastapp In the end I rebooted. It disappeared, but reappeared of its own accord. No data loss!
@downcastapp New version of iOS app has been “Installing…” for about ten minutes now. Should I leave it trying? Ta!
@Bristolvor Think I’m pretty much done with the emulsion. Gloss next.
@bathsaints I’ve seen one. Hang on… Ahamazon.co.uk/RND-Certified-…bX
Quick review of Omaker’s reversible USB cable: gothick.org.uk/2016/01/26/oma…
This really does count as one of the creepiest PC messages of all time. pic.twitter.com/TsxtA0ephL
D’uh. We’re the only animals who need to fold sheets. twitter.com/TheAtlantic/st…
@mhoulden For perfect cover, add a tape measure with a belt clip.
Nipping out to lunch in your decorating clothes? A carpenter’s pencil behind the ear is basically a badge that says, “No, I am not a tramp.”
MINI AWW pic.twitter.com/JkrUuLf1b1
@CharlieEsq_ Awesome ;)
@CharlieEsq_ Would you *like* to do some painting? *hopeful look*
@salisbury_matt Just go with it and start a browser testing lab for web designers.
@salisbury_matt Oh, so *you’re* the 1%!
Brief trip out for chores, shopping and coffee, then on with the bathroom painting. Exciting, my life.
@RellyAB Arse. Does this mean I don’t get to watch season two of Jessica Jones?
Quad vent upside-down..questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic…yS
Newegg ICYMI: We’re not slowing down our fight against #PatentTrolls anytime soon! ow.ly/XBzHu pic.twitter.com/u9VtQ9UmkC
So, what *are* those things that aren’t the cactus? pic.twitter.com/BiE90p0Y8U
Mouse status: the mouse is no longer with me. He went to a lovely farm in the country to snack on corn and meet other happy mice.
@technicalfault PMT might be worth a try. Think I saw them in their Bristol branch at some point, and there’s one in Manchester.
Whiteladies Road pic.twitter.com/6ehVgtHLlV
Another “so, is there a card in the camera?” shot. pic.twitter.com/0a0jLuqpiP
@PhilBoshier87 They’re awful at the parking permits. What worked for me was emailing my local councillor. Got the permit 3 days later.
BristolCouncil If you’re not signed up to the garden waste collection then please fill in this form bit.ly/1ROKROE to get your Xmas tree picked up
BristolCouncil Apologies for the delay in collecting your Xmas trees - if you have a weekly garden waste collection it will be picked up on the same day
@hayles @waiyeehong IM NOT RACIALIST SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE NORTHERN
@hayles AND IMIGRANT CYCLIST IZ WHI WE NID TOO LEAVE YUROPE NOW!11!! FACT!!!!
bitfield “Oh my God. Did you *give* this dose?” A perfect storm of bad UI design, alert fatigue, and reliance on automation. medium.com/backchannel/ho…
@anna_debenham But surely there’d be <blink>compensations</blink>?
@johnfbraun @PilotPete :) So far I’ve only seen one at a time, but yes, I take your point.
TheMichaelMoran ‘Prepare for Christ on a bike’ #BetterTaglinesForLondonHasFallen pic.twitter.com/TUAmYHXosE
@chris_coys I *think* so. By which I mean I’ve only seen one at a time, anyway.
.@BabsBat Funnily enough, I think it’s up my chimney.
It appears to be making a nest from paper chewed from the instructions from my air bed. So at least it has a good grasp of irony.
There is a mouse in my house.
ChrisHawkinsUK Colin Vearncombe, the voice of Black, dies, aged 53 gu.com/p/4g6dt/stw
Khanoisseur Your weekly reminder why Twitter is amazing pic.twitter.com/8PC3XLLPlu
20th Century Fox. pic.twitter.com/EJeLL0x7Dt
@danbarker Generally I’ve found they do it in such a creepy, annoying way that I cancel the whole thing.
@DazeEnd Yeah; had that happen. Bit weird. As was the customer.
Painting update: still painting.
NPAS_Filton Video 2 of 2. pic.twitter.com/bKkXLsKu0y
@Hit_Delete Couldn’t you just charge a Hermès bacon butty to your Amex black card? I think they’re only £2,999.99.
@ahnlak Thankfully not. I just really like Purdey’s!
Break from the painting. instagram.com/p/BA7PyFBJC1K/
Oddly_Satisfied Climbing plant peeling off the side of a building… pic.twitter.com/yP5jdzGt3N
@chubbybannister No thanks, I’m trying to give it up.
@ahnlak Grr.
@ahnlak Sadly, I can already tell.
I should’ve saved up a few more weeks of the Archers to listen to during this painting. Covering old dark red with a light off-white…
There’s something very Terran Federation about a cage gun. #blakes7 pic.twitter.com/dfrus6ozk9
@chubbybannister @samsneed12 @VeeDoubleMoo Noooo! (Could you do it time shifted from the podcast? Your public will miss you!)
@drwave Is it possible people will start turning their back on it? I’m 43 and I know several 30somethings deliberately *not* on the net.
@liveindetail Too much painting to do today, sadly. Also, no macro lens!
@shezza_t You can make it as far as ten? Do you meditate?
@liveindetail Oooh. I’d probably actually enjoy that.
So, my “up nice and early to start painting” plan isn’t going too well so far.
Extraordinarily disconcerting. pic.twitter.com/HQCm6WE4rU
TheWadest When you get stranded on Earth without your photon weapons so you just have to come up with a job & survive pic.twitter.com/Rt4Bdz1jKS
@mhoulden Sadly it was a last minute decision after somewhere else turned out not to have stock.
@charwarz No, it was a bad idea this morning. It’s always a good idea last night :D
Little pick-me-up from @mockingbirdAlma before I start prepping walls for painting. pic.twitter.com/0pkNpn7DHO
@ahnlak The music’s so awful I can’t think clearly enough to hammer any more numbers into an awful touch screen.
In Argos. Send ear defenders and whisky.
Am I still hungover, or is this really not a great discount? pic.twitter.com/jcWhj1836S
@CastIrony Well, I’m hoping so.
@charlesarthur Go to your Profile page and hit “Edit Profile”?
sidneyabbot Never mind what (or how) he’s done to the car, look at his trousers.
LOOK AT THEM!!!! pic.twitter.com/klloQFnron
leeblackwood I’m looking to borrow or hire a Laptop for a day or two next week. Any advice? (I’m based in Bristol)
@benjohnbarnes Ta!
CulturedRuffian My voicemail message is just instructions on how to send a text message with brief pauses filled with heavy sighing.
@hayles Especially as the alternative involved dealing with a hangover while people were sawing wood and hammering next to me.
@hayles Sober me is having a bathroom fitted and had no access to a toilet for the night. Seeing as there was a works do at the hotel…
@talkie_tim Drunk me seems a pretty stand-up guy. Albeit slightly swaying.
@chubbybannister Heh. No, just plain fish and chips.
@chubbybannister And a fish and chip shop, apparently.
SophyRidgeSky Whoops. Home Office announces a new English language test for migrants…. and spells language wrong pic.twitter.com/No4HZQfffi
@americanapparel You might want to see if links in your emails are working properly — I’m getting this for them.pic.twitter.com/RrkvATCGtHGtH
Aww. Shouting guy running down street chasing after oblivious young woman turned out to be returning bank card she’d left in ATM.
@ahnlak He’s certainly being more kind than usual this morning. Expecting a masseuse to turn up at any moment.
*Puts on coat to leave hotel* *Coat feels heavy* *Discovers further gifts from drunk-me* pic.twitter.com/GyadFg61bU
Looks pretty uninspiring out there today. pic.twitter.com/T45CIBx3m5
@thekarleighshow Hungover-me *was*, but, thank fuck, sober-boring-me always carries painkillers in his bag. My other mes are pretty great.
Hungover-me has no clue how this bottle of Purdey’s arrived in his hotel room, but is very grateful to drunk-me for thinking of it.
@samsneed12 Oh yeah.
Biggie Smalls. pic.twitter.com/TNqBhx8hJB
@soffes (Is this what you’re seeing? Recorded this ages ago for a bug report: dropbox.com/s/f4bjbj493qod… )
@soffes Hrm. I have that one installed and t.co links work fine. Strange. Some odd interaction somewhere.
@soffes Any extensions installed? I had exactly that problem with the Evernote Web Clipper.
@soffes That’s a Douglas Adams story, that is.
Sneak peek of my favourite “gadget” of 2016 so far: a reversible micro-USB cable. youtube.com/watch?v=PJtodl…
@hondanhon Indeed ;)
quellist1 Ehm, yes - so there’s……..this: deadline.com/2016/01/altere… *does fist punch, raucous Daltreyesque scream*
paulawhite_uk Be a Mum, they said.
It’ll be fun, they said.
You’ll have to play football in the freezing cold, they (didn’t) say.. pic.twitter.com/Z0BpUpY6RH
hlaingwhisky Yesterday we put in an application for planning permission for a distillery at Ardnahoe, Islay. pic.twitter.com/l0ujZd5Cmv
Poor driver on this @wessexbus has to get out of his seat to pull the doors open every time we stop. #chilly #buslife
Peculiar Muslim kid writes that he ‘lives in a terrorist house’. He meant to put ‘terraced’. Cut to police interviewing him. goo.gl/xBTVqN
Saw my first Uber car today. #provincial
@guriben There’s a new episode of Friends?
@guriben At least that would tie in with what I’m watching! pic.twitter.com/bkVwAGJP9E
petedrinks Can’t argue with the logic of this one… petition.parliament.uk/petitions/1184…
Unskippable ads for stuff we don’t care about. Of course, Amazon Prime Video, *that’s* what we’ve been missing since we stopped buying DVDs.
@sstarr Likewise. Though I am also enjoying the even-smaller 40mm STM. But if I had to choose one, it’d be the 50.
@RellyAB I had my seemingly-annual declaration-of–reading–bankruptcy-collect-them-all-up-and-start-again the other day. Sigh.
petapixel 8 reasons you should buy a 50mm f/1.8 lens: goo.gl/KjI2d0 pic.twitter.com/xWb3F3zP0Z
@UrsulaWJ Looked like this at lunchtime. Recent Trip Advisor reviews seem to suggest something of a nosedive :( pic.twitter.com/WmKipYBrvR
What happened to Tart on Gloucester Road?
A minute’s silence for my old bathroom. pic.twitter.com/9Q1wM6W6R1
What, no human figures to fill with trash? How droidist. pic.twitter.com/MsGAkTrbAd
@rbrwr I don’t claim to know the genetic mechanism by which this whole thing works :D
@markrglover It illuminates! It tans! It destroys small villages! Try the new Canon 9000EXX…
I think @rstevens is right. I’d happily pay to edit a tweet. That’s the way to monetise Twitter :)
@markrglover Hey, don’t look at me, I don’t cause solar flares! :)
In 1980 an freak solar flare bathed the Earth in gene-altering radiation. Nobody born since knows that the past tense of “text” is “texted”.
mushenska Stoffel the escaping honey badger is a BAMF m.youtube.com/watch?v=c36UNS…
simula77 Browsing the fiction section… pic.twitter.com/r9XkGrvU8N
@MResponsively That’s because we all hold a massive secret party behind your back.
@corylus Yes. This is an action best done deliberately and with a proper sense of occasion.
@mamahabits That’s how my dessert spoon-size measuring spoon is marked, if that helps.
@SamEspensen @Bristol52 *Searches house frantically* *Turns up only a quarter-tub of brandy butter* *sighs*
StigAbell Wonderful New Yorker cartoon. #AlanRickman pic.twitter.com/sbaYSiN5DL
Well done, Portcullis. Carry on. #Bristol pic.twitter.com/mLkI89xX5T
peterogburn I love this story about Alan Rickman’s face when he fell from the building in Die Hard. pic.twitter.com/U9SOl0jAi1
@_upgradefm #askupgrade #ALLsupermarkets (PS: do you like Eggs Benedict? Best muffin-based meal, I reckon.) pic.twitter.com/CMDjH4G2mW
I hope it’s the retirement cover for an ex-spy named Clark. pic.twitter.com/mzC9W4Ey7A
@Bingo_Little Well, the dancing girls were a pleasant surprise, I’ll admit.
@talkie_tim @FirstBSA In that salting the earth is a generally considered to be a terrible thing.
@Bingo_Little Hrm… Hair metal, including the hair, perhaps…
Selfie with Big Hand pic.twitter.com/PC8DP3XNNO
So, either that DPD delivery *wasn’t* the 10 small bags of silica gel, or I made a terrible mistake on the form. pic.twitter.com/zh2hBH0jCy
2010 was pretty snowy, too… Here’s an appearance by “Iced T” in Queen Squarepic.twitter.com/FFHU7ldPugug
Been a while since we had proper snow in Bristol. 2013, I reckon. pic.twitter.com/HEpUv18T5W
@NeilJamesB Likewise!
@mhoulden Well, I’m listening to Life On Mars right now, so it finished about four songs ago…
@NeilJamesB Damn it. Now I really want more #bristol #snow. Prince Street, 2009. pic.twitter.com/eI1gPJIKbq
@film_girl You know it’s Friday, right?
It’s a 3-4 week delivery for the CD, too, so I guess they’re manufacturing a brand new copy for me to never use.
WHY!? Hey, Amazon, can I register the local recycling centre as my address so you can send the CD straight there? pic.twitter.com/6K39GpSzJ9
Hmph.
@hayles *shakes walking stick*
@hayles I’ve never heard of Xanga. Does that mean I’m young?
@Shonette I promise I haven’t bugged your office. But tell Gavin and Angie they should get over it and make up, and give Phil a slap.
Quick lido poll:
@sas_ellie @Bristol52 @albinjindu YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HUMAN NOW YOU WILL BE PUNISHED BY THE HELPLESS WAITING OF SHAME.
@albinjindu @Bristol52 Careful. You’ll get me started on the automated checkouts.
FelicityMorse Trains struggling because of “strong sunshine”. I love being British. twitter.com/Se_Railway/sta…
@bitchwhocodes …though I understand that may not help very much!
@bitchwhocodes When people have done that to me, I’ve at least been grateful afterwards, even if I didn’t take it gracefully at the time…
@ahnlak Well, at least he gave me a bell so I could go meet him with the car.
@Bristolvor Hopefully. It looked a bit tired when I moved in. In 1999.
@Bristolvor Someone with actual skill will be doing my bathroom for me next week.
Just shifted 100kg of tiles, twice, because delivery lorry was too big for my road. Might just watch an X Files and have a cuppa for a bit.
@invalidname I wasn’t suggesting anything as noble as trying to enlighten them :)
@danbarker But… But… TECHNOLOGY!
@invalidname Shame there’s no easy “clone 100 times and forward to the managing director” option…
In other news, I have a new bathroom. Though so far it’s in the wrong rooms and mostly upside down. pic.twitter.com/xkJuvJIOlj
@UrsulaWJ I just did that, only to find out their system won’t let me pay what I want to pay them for another three months. :(
Sorry, quiet upstairs neighbours, but I’m sure you can forgive me turning up Lauren Laverne’s show really loud just for Space Oddity.
@seb_ly Working in Bristol, too. Odd. Maybe it will never rain in Brighton again.
.@MarsCuriosity Just FYI: the rest of us still want to know, too.
RaeBeta It never occurred to me that he was someone who could die. He was like a mountain, or an idea.
@BriggsNicholas And sequels are normally so bad… *ducks*
@Bristolvor Getting back out after a cold can deffo be a drag. Well done for doing it!
…and that’s the reason I wouldn’t take a call from anyone like you at 3pm, eithertwitter.com/kanyewest/stat…Lq
@Bristolvor Good run?
@Bristolvor Must’ve been my double. I’ve been rearranging storage and listening to The Archers :)
Heard “Puppet on a String” in last week’s Endeavour. Still popping into my head occasionally. One of the most deserved Eurovision winners!
@chubbybannister It’s hard to hear David over the sound of his passive-aggression.
I’m ignoring your wife, David. #thearchers
That thing where you’re watching a horrific murder on TV then suddenly you’re, “Oh! I have that duvet cover. It’s IKEA.” #thefall
@charwarz It is the rewarding “hello world” of hardware.
MartinPilgrim1 My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings:
1. Murderer
2. Police telling me everyone is dead
3. That book I ordered about positive thinking
Searching for help on YouTube video manager. Instead found a techno-astrologer’s blog on how to find the birth date of a YouTube vid. Sigh.
@mattycurry @archidave @Bristolvor Yeah, I like it a lot, just if it’s been raining much it means having to do the last 8k with wet socks!
@Bristolvor Not for a couple of years. Got out of the habit and put on a bit too much weight. Maybe this year…