kitlovelace Oh, not much. Just looking at this website which lets people make WEARABLE CLONES OF THEIR BELOVED PETS TO STICK THEIR FEET INTO… cuddleclones.com/product/plush-… pic.twitter.com/g6QJ42TtzU
GR_Morgan Guys, I think I found my favourite object on display in @sciencemuseum! pic.twitter.com/woaefr5eAb
katieheart Sometimes when I’m really bored I search for pictures of bloggers on my car pic.twitter.com/g4Z6kJz7Xt
dangusset Florida sinkhole is tunnel leading to bank, says FBI theguardian.com/us-news/2019/j…
@EmmaisaChampion Score!
duretti dear managers, here’s a list of 10 items you should stop doing! love, your no. 1 best programmer pal, duretti
1. putting 10 minutes on my calendar for a “quick chat” with no context. it makes me think i’m gonna get fired
2. heck, just messaging and saying “have a minute?”
MrKennethClarke I have a confession. I have helped accelerate the deterioration of the Palace of Westminster & I must apologise to the estates team. At the end of each working day I have picked a wall and continuously banged my head on it for approximately 10mins, sometimes longer. Forgive me.
nick_kapur Something incredible is happening on reddit. I’m tempted to say these people have way too much time, but this is legit amazing. #RecursionFTW pic.twitter.com/mr8jHjTbnV
@hayles Say, have you done a Brexit tat survey like your Royal Wedding tat one? pic.twitter.com/gcS1iWMNle
OpinionatedGeek You know what I want? A fucking LED tax. If someone wants to put an LED in a device, make it cost an extra five quid. Five quid for each LED should stop the fuckers putting fucking LEDs in every fucking thing.
@OpinionatedGeek Me, turning on my multi-port USB charger at night. pic.twitter.com/8NcnABFO27
East-facing lounge FTW on a day like this. pic.twitter.com/ZjWoweQvf3
marcoarment “It is much more important to work on the right thing than it is to work many hours. Most people waste most of their time on stuff that doesn’t matter.” —@samaablog.samaltman.com/how-to-be-succ…k
Wild Arctic Fox Walks Up to Landscape Photographer to Check Out Camera petapixel.com/2019/01/28/wil…
For the youngsters, the most credulity-stretching part of Bandersnatch must be seeing someone happily and voluntarily go shopping in a WH Smith.
You know you’ve watched too much science fiction when you see a picture of a Bermuda hotel and think, “Wow. People travel a *long* way to get there.” brightbazaarblog.com/2019/01/bermud… pic.twitter.com/cmnhKnVo3f
KateAronoff If I owe you an email, please find some comfort in the fact that my every waking hour is haunted by my debt to you
@petedrinks “I’m just going to do a wash load. I may be Some Time.”
@petedrinks But surely you’ve moved into a house with an even bigger whisky cupboard, so it’s okay to buy a few more?
The worst thing is, I’ve had “declutter books” on my to-do list for six months, but if I finally get to it now everyone’ll think I’ve been watching Marie Kondo.
Cover me, I’m going in. @quellist1 pic.twitter.com/a2rxdIAoXp
simongerman600 “The Arteries of the World” Map shows every river watershed in Britain in a different colour. Source: buff.ly/2WidkSz pic.twitter.com/2l9GdnnYLk
ianduhig Classical mythology explained.
via Ar-Mari Rubenian pic.twitter.com/GnWdHMm4Nr
Taco_Lad It’s designed for open plan offices because you are a fucking beast of burden to your employer and by God you’ll wear a halter and chaff bag before we give you your own stall. twitter.com/cheddar/status…
Basin. pic.twitter.com/UewcRFOYPo
DickKingSmith When conducting covert surveillance on a target, ensure operatives are ‘situation-aware’ (looking over-their-shoulders) for hostile agents. pic.twitter.com/B7SwSdTlRr
@holly Hey, if they’re going Parcelforce at least you stand twice the chance of actually getting a delivery through.
@Lucyvfreeman Surely he would just shout “Potato! Hot! On the double!” at your friend… #picardmanagementtips
Attn. @bufferingcast 😀 twitter.com/Standardpups/s…
@sugarenia I don’t think my career coach’s career coach has a career coach. Yet.
JayHulmePoet Alright, let’s talk about that time the Victorians accidentally burned down the houses of Parliament because they were too busy burning historical records to consider the fact that they were in a wooden building with long drafty corridors and should maybe think about fire safety.
lauralexx Shit magnet has been purchased! Now we will always remember our trip to Crabonela. pic.twitter.com/tLJ95s7fMo
@williamhanson @Lucyvfreeman @netflix @MarieKondo ‘Hi. Is that the “decluttering” service?’
williamhanson Either there’s a @netflix glitch or @MarieKondo’s methods have escalated. pic.twitter.com/yzfR1bbC69
beng Posted without comment. pic.twitter.com/OWqNxhnQrz
@Avon_Stories There was no silt on my camera! #dadjoke
Brisk out, but pretty. Shooting #bristol at night with @Avon_Stories. 2/2 pic.twitter.com/xSnGh7vEKz
Brisk out, but pretty. Shooting #bristol at night with @Avon_Stories. 1/2 pic.twitter.com/8IQslGf8Jb
@AthanSpod I’m now past the point of caring what it’s like, as long as it’s actually sodding POST.
I think Facebook may be trying to tell me something. pic.twitter.com/0X86IZcwLw
@_pigeons_ Well done. You have now joined me in doing with TV what I only used to do with books. *Rearranges the order of his “unread” pile*
I’m waiting for the sequel, Super Wolf Blood Moon II: Even Bloodier More Super Big Wolf Blood Moon. twitter.com/NYDailyNews/st…
claytonhickman At the request of @purves_peter I’ve added a splash of colour to this beautiful shot from ‘War of God’, the first episode of #DoctorWho and the Massacre (of St Bartholomew’s Eve, if you insist😜), taken on the Parisian tavern set in Riverside Studio 1 on Friday 21st January 1966. pic.twitter.com/OR2d81MLJr
Cor. Ten years ago. vimeo.com/2884701?ref=tw…
mattatfamous Best policeman name ever goes too…..👮🏼♂️ pic.twitter.com/GhVtOFEMP5
@_pigeons_ Just don’t blame me when you get a vitamin-D deficiency or have to be surgically removed from your sofa.
The modern reading experience on the web is just so enjoyable. pic.twitter.com/eOBDhTavjH
@WeirdBristol There’s definitely a Doctor Who episode to be had from this one.
MicroSFF “People who bemoan the lack of secret passages in modern homes and offices,” a voice behind me said, “never think about the meaning of the word ‘secret’.”
The wall behind me is solid. At least, I was sure it is solid.
openculture Stream 72 Hours of Ambient Sounds from Blade Runner: Relax, Go to Sleep in a Dystopian Future openculture.com/?p=1034081 pic.twitter.com/MEnrUwUnGF
daniel_barker If you think Gillette’s ad is part of a massive corporate plot to subjugate men through social engineering you might want to try using Occam’s razor instead.
…I think I’ll be okay on appeal as the eggs don’t have female-presenting nipples. Plus they’re health-related.
Ahahah! @tumblr have flagged one of my years-old posts as violating their new “adult content” policy. It’s, erm, a picture of my breakfast. pic.twitter.com/SPPEUo9jO4
neilhimself The best thing about the I-Hate-This-Book-and-British-People-Aren’t-Funny Joe Queenan review was that we put “A direct descendant of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. @nytimes” on the paperback book cover, and sold shedloads of extra copies. twitter.com/neilhimself/st…
Ah, Brexit. pic.twitter.com/Bx3ma1baki
OFalafel If you fold a £5 note back on itself it looks like the Queen has locked herself out of her front door pic.twitter.com/4NuHiZ3LdP
@eaj Stockholm syndrome.
@Whatleydude Yah. Perfect.
@ahnlak “The Seals of Roddickton”. Sounds a bit more HP Lovecraft to my ears.
@rands “Sapid”. Or possibly “lustrum”.
@DigitalJonathan @MovenpickHotels Is it possible that you have actually died and gone to heaven? (If not, consider buying a lottery ticket.)
@JamesSLock Woken Furies is also top-notch.
@JamesSLock God, I love that book.
Andr6wMale Whole Twitter account devoted to retweeting people who think George Orwell wrote Animal House. twitter.com/dmandl/status/…
The trouble with seals… BBC News - Stranded seals wreak havoc in Canadian town bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-…
SlenderSherbet When you lied on your CV about having previous sheepdog experience. pic.twitter.com/rSxInp2JBz
AdamRutherford I can hardly believe it. twitter.com/jordipaps/stat…
quantick Just like “So what” and “Shat wo”. twitter.com/Fact/status/10…
doodlebeth The new wedding shop in town has a wheelchair using mannequin and it shouldn’t be exciting but it’s the first time I’ve ever seen disability portrayed in a shop window. pic.twitter.com/N5sco2fLJf
@Avon_Stories @saltwateritch @porthjess @thefionagilmour Smart! I had no idea the Instagram website allowed uploads, even from mobile devices.
@saltwateritch @porthjess @Avon_Stories @thefionagilmour Sorry, tried a Mac one a few times but it couldn’t keep up with Instagram’s new features. Always going to be tough writing a good app for a platform that deliberately doesn’t support posting from third-party apps :(
_pigeons_ Huge thanks to @gothick for taking me to see the @UkStarlings murmuration at @RSPBHamWall last Friday.
Photos taken with the “wrong” cameras - DSLR 50mm, & my XA2 point&shoot (no zoom, 400iso film)
flickr.com/photos/knautia…
edlavaCNN My man Miro wins the day in #McAllen, #Texas. pic.twitter.com/vBD5jaGm4v
phlaimeaux the Hairy Enya is going on tour for the next few months. Dublin, Cork, Derry, London, Sydney, Belfast, Melbourne, Wrexham and many of the places in between. Tickets are here: phlaimeaux.tumblr.com/shows pic.twitter.com/HpBF0FDrvY
Going to check the UK news brings to mind the trepidation felt when gingerly raising the lid of the toilet in the lone cubicle of a A-road services at 3am.
IntrovertDoodle When you’re having a bad mental health day but really want to accomplish something important… pic.twitter.com/bLidkEP1Lj
East and west. pic.twitter.com/Ws2sEDyR5a
@MatManferdini Oh, it’s not just me, then. Good. Only happens occasionally, but it’s oddly insistent about a word once it’s taken against it.
richardosman I see Amazon boss Jeff Bezos’ wife is leaving him. With a neighbour, presumably.
sarahzhang This is such an incredible bit of sleuthing.
Scientists found mysterious blue particles in a 1000-year-old woman’s dental plaque, only to realized they had stumbled into a forgotten history of female scribes.
theatlantic.com/science/archiv…
Rotarywings1 Unbelievable flying and landing at that slope to rescue an injured skier
By French mountain police 👏 pic.twitter.com/zmNld40XuG
pitchfork Update: It has been confirmed that @Sleater_Kinney’s new album, produced by @st_vincent, will be released this year p4k.in/UgdgdGc pic.twitter.com/NW5TiGfAus
neskatxa “The #Redruth community have improved the look of this building to enhance the town centre” pic.twitter.com/UvNyXXZhMU
@dangusset @davidallengreen Gosh. I was just thinking “Yakety Sax”.
jckarter I figured out the stock price issue once and for all. Expect a podcast shortly pic.twitter.com/aQMiY2BbfC
@UrsulaWJ Believe me, I went through several similar efforts to yours (it’s a *giant* bloody chimney hole behind there, and I couldn’t block it internally even with the “extra large” chimney-stopping inflatable thing I bought!) before I headed for B&Q :)
@ForgedInFur @UrsulaWJ @sarahdal I see what you did there.
@UrsulaWJ Heh. After last winter I finally got creative with some steel plate and a window latch. pic.twitter.com/9paaiW17KJ
manytypesoftea Your Smiths album name is the mildest complaint you had about the last dining experience you had outside of your home. Mine is The Potatoes Weren’t All I Expected
UrsulaWJ Rough translation: late train scarf. Each stripe knitted measures the lateness of the train. This is both #peakknitting and #peakGermanness. twitter.com/sara__weber/st…
tompeck In ten years at the Indy, I’ve been taught literally how to ride a bike by an Olympic cycling coach. I’ve entered my dog in Crufts. I’ve trained as a Wimbledon ball boy. I’ve never been on an assignment anywhere near as stupid as this. pic.twitter.com/TEHOAxn87x
So, er, @LinkedInHelp, wouldn’t it be more sensible to localise automated messages in the language of the recipient, rather than the sender? pic.twitter.com/yd933IUpU9
@RellyAB @cdutson The whole finding thing is bobbins. I searched a grass verge near my house whilst terribly hung over one morning. Eventually gave up, disconsolate. Discovered them safely nestled in the pocket of my apron the next time I cooked! 😂🔫
@benjohnbarnes What’s *underneath* the window? Is it that colour? :)
@adambanksdotcom @jonhoneyball @fryselectronics Does anyone know whether it’s perfume or iPhones that have a higher markup per ounce?
DanaSchwartzzz If you pay me $50 I’ll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.
jeremybornstein Recently a Japanese monk was issued a citation for driving while in his traditional robes and in response, other monks are demonstrating that they can safely perform other physical actions in robes. The hashtag to search is #僧衣でできるもん; the below is one of my favorites. twitter.com/bayashi567/sta…
xAKTx Critics are giving it 5 stars pic.twitter.com/KayIo7Xv22
@BudgetsAreSexy I’ve cut down over the last few years. Only twelve now.
Went to RSPB Ham Wall this afternoon with @_pigeons_. Saw a starling or two. #murmuration pic.twitter.com/AWGvZBP9Lg
My favourite image in this year’s Wildlife Photographer of the Year is Tom Kennedy’s “Smoke Bath”. I do love a corvid. On at @mshedbristol until 24th Feb. nhm.ac.uk/visit/wpy/gall…
tweethue Currently we are having an issue with remote connectivity (Out of Home, voice commands), and we’re working hard to resolve it ASAP. Your local connection via Wi-Fi is not affected by this. We’ll keep you posted!
Scott_Helme When a lack of automated certificate renewal costs you £100,000,000 ($130,000,000 USD)! 😮
bbc.co.uk/news/business-…
@genericgaystuff @ChristinaMcMc Hey, if it went where you wanted, it wouldn’t be Microsoft Word-compatible.
@philwithadrill *imagines what the A-team would fashion from this raw material*
thenib We found him, the smartest person on Earth. 🖋 by @Lubchansky pic.twitter.com/pKmnmNYv4B
@BereftStatistic @ormondroyd @openspacer I am now imagining Brexit being delivered by a juggling clown on a unicycle wearing a large cuboid backpack.
MissPiggy New Year, New Moi? HA!! As if. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, sweetie. pic.twitter.com/g10bfiUEWU
@Dru_Marland Even if it’s not, it’s going to be satisfying. Now excuse me, I’m going to use my Leuchtturm and fountain pen to write something which I’m *certain* will improve my efficiency. *Coos gently with sensory pleasure*
@adambanksdotcom @chrisphin The original looks pretty light on Getty. gettyimages.co.uk/detail/news-ph…
beardedjourno First Bus is running a Saturday service this week. You didn’t know? Me neither. They put the information on their website on Christmas Eve. pic.twitter.com/TTmEkzH4DU
whatterz How much of the Internet is fake? Turns out, a lot of it, actually, writes @max_read
nymag.com/intelligencer/…
#bots #AI #fakenews
GreggsOfficial @piersmorgan Oh hello Piers, we’ve been expecting you
Seconded. Stonkingly good film. twitter.com/_pigeons_/stat…