Matt Gibson (@gothick)

Hotwells, Bristol

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @gothick ever

May 8th, 2010

ParcelForce say my parcel’s at Post Office, and French Guy’s parcel is in their depot. I have French Guy’s parcel. Guess mine is in depot.

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@Jorence Thank you! That is my avowed intention.

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Sigh. Just blogged about my Parcelforce experience so far. http://bit.ly/parcelfarce

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Okay. I have delivered the parcel to the nice Frenchman. Unfortunately, he did not have my wireless router.

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Just seen a Porche Cayenne drive past. This could turn into a car chase.

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Ou est l’homme? Il est Français, et très elusive.

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Okay. Just been to Cosmo for lunch. It’s like buses.

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French Guy was out. My guess is he’s in comedy scene at ParcelForce depot where they’re explaining in Franglais why his parcel is gone.

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Good idea, @shezza_t. Him in his Porche, me in my Mini. We will meet at midnight on top floor of the Mall car park and exchange prisoners.

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Depot have now been looking for parcel for an hour, it seems. No call back. I’m off to the RWA. Will try to deliver this parcel en route.

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@stillawake Cool, you got your number, then?

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@martingoode Yes, but ParcelForce seem to think that his parcel is still in their depot, so I guess that’s where my router is.

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…but I may need something to hold ParcelForce to ransom.

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I am very tempted to go try to deliver this to the right place myself, seeing as it’s just around the corner.

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@rbrwr Well, I know where it lives…

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Still no call back from ParcelForce.

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Jackpot! Found a part number. _This_ is what ParcelForce have given me rather than a £50 router. http://bit.ly/cGTuPH

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@csoanes It does seem pretty good quality. Would you agree with my speculation that it’s part of a Porche exhaust system?

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Okay, this parcel has “Porche Genuine Parts” written on it. Guess it may be worth a lot more than my wireless router.

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Dear ParcelForce: this is not a wireless router. http://tweetphoto.com/21…

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Oh, yes. Next LoveFilm rentals on way. Not sure whether to be more excited about Watchmen or Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous

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MORONS. Thanks to ParcelForce, instead of a wireless router, I now appear to own some exhaust parts from a French car.

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Oh, ParcelForce, you complete morons. You have delivered a parcel to the local Post Office for me. But it is not MY parcel.

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@juliaindelicate That just makes me think of Zoo magazine.

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Grr. And again, @TextExpander hangs during an update. Wonder if killing it will lose me all my snippets again? http://bit.ly/dg4LQG

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Aah. Nine and a half hours of sleep. That’s what I needed. *stretch*

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@hayles I have a strange urge to add a single, subtle, contrasting element. A Yorkie bar, maybe. Or an Audi Quattro.

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@hayles That table appears to be made from the essence of pure “feminine”.

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@psidnell Have heard mixed reports, but figured I had to try for myself. Can always watch Remo instead if terrible ;)

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@bertpalmer Only if I can work out what it is.

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@ianmcshane Hadn’t even considered that. Not an issue for me, don’t think I have ever worn a tight piece of clothing in my life…

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@Dichohecho Jesus, it’s hard enough buying bloke’s running tops in my size. Sure 44A sports bras are quite hard to come by.

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Looking at previous race pictures, many people wear their race number on their stomach, not their chest. Is this better?

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@rbrwr They’re not actually the Labour Party. @UKLabour is the real labour party feed.

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@jbrownridge Yeah, well, I’m just raised a note with eBuyer; sure they’re more used to kicking Parcelforce than I am, maybe they’ll sort it.

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@hayles We n’avez pas de parceeeel, mon sewer. Nous sommes tres incompetent. Je regrete que nous sommes complete fuckwits.

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